


Evan, that’s not what Netflix and Chill means

by HolyCoconut



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Aromantic! Connor, Asexual! Evan, Biromantic! Evan, Demiromantic! Alana, Demisexual/romantic! Jared, Evan has a skin condition where his skin is discolored in some places, Evan when he’s tired isn’t someone you want to mess with, F/M, Fluff, Gay! Connor, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian! Alana, M/M, Netflix and Chill, One Sided Relationships, Pan! Zoe, Panic Attacks, Trans! Zoe, no smut!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-02-27 18:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyCoconut/pseuds/HolyCoconut
Summary: I don’t really know where this fic is gonna go but it started with a Netflix and Chill joke. I wanted to make it multichaptered, and it gives me something to write other than smut so here you go! :)





	1. It’s a sleepover, Jared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan’s had a rough couple of days and he really wanted to have Jared over because he needed to talk to someone, and Jared doesn’t mind leaving his house at 3 am to keep him company. After all, what are friends for amiright?  
> (I am basing Evan’s stutter off one of my friends, it gets really heavy when she’s tired/annoyed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a panic attack (tho it’s not v detailed??) But it may be triggering so maybe don’t read this if you can’t handle things like that. Take care of yo self I love you
> 
>  
> 
> **Evan**  
>  _Jared_

Evan is tired, he just took a seven hour depression nap, it’s three am, and he needs to talk to someone before his brain explodes.

**Hey**

_Hey_  
_What’s up?_

 **I’m tired**  
**And I miss you**  
**Can you come over?**

Jared looks at the time, Jesus fuck Evan why are you awake??

_Ev? You feeling okay?_

**No**  
**I wanna Netflix and chill or smthin**  
**Come over**

Jared tries to hold in his laughter, obviously the blonde had meant something else, he was too anxious for that.

_You don’t want to do something else?_

**No.**  
**I wanna Netflix and chill**  
**Now.**

Jared rolls his eyes and gets out of bed as quietly as he can, packing a sleep over bag and writing a note to let his mom know where he’d gone.

 _Fine fine I’m on my way_  
_Demanding much?_

Evan doesn’t respond and Jared locks the door, making his way over to Evan’s house. He was only a couple houses away, walking wouldn’t kill him.  
Jared arrives and knocks quietly on the door, hearing some thumping from inside. ‘He’ll wake up his mom at that rate.’ Jared thinks with a soft smile. The door handle clicks and then Evan is glaring at him from behind it.  
He’s got a blanket over his head, making him look like a nun, and his face is red and splotchy in the center. Jared can’t remember the last time he saw Evan’s skin without cover up.

He’s got this rare discoloration thing where he gets bright red splotches in the center of his face, a few spots on his arms, some on his thighs, and his left leg. Jared doesn’t remember the name, but it’s only prominent when he’s stressed or upset. And because Evan’s... well, Evan, he wears concealer on those spots.

“Come o-on.” Evan murmurs and grabs the front of Jared’s shirt, tugging him inside. Jared follows with a snicker and Evan tugs him over to the couch, the Netflix logo shining bright on his computer.  
Oh Jesus, Evan.

Jared settles in beside him, dropping his bag on the floor and Evan puts on The Aristocats.  
“Wow rude, you didn’t ask what I wanted to watch,” Jared comments and Evan tugs his legs closer, leaning on Jared’s side.  
“Wh-Whatever, which-which movie we watch isn’t important a-anyway.” Evan says dryly and scoots closer.  
Jared’s face heats.  
Evan couldn’t know what it meant! And even if he did, he’d never ask Jared to do it with him!!! Fuck!  
“Why is that?” Jared asks and Evan looks up at him, the blanket slipping back to reveal his blonde curls.  
“Because I w-wanted you. D-doesn’t matter what m-m-movie it is.” Evan murmurs and Jared tries not to squeak.  
“Wanted... me?” Jared says in shock and Evan slides his arm out of the blanket and wraps it around Jared, needing comfort and affection.  
“Ye-Yeah.” Evan leans his head back on Jared and they watch the movie in silence. Jared’s ears are ringing, god he has to say something other than yeah!!!! Why does his friend want to fuck him what the fuck?!?

Evan scowls and tugs Jared in, the brunette’s arm slips and his hand comes to rest on Evan’s thigh.  
“Stop sq-squirming, I d-didn’t invite you over to ki-kick-kick me.”  
For Evan, the silence is comfortable. With Jared here, he feels like his lungs opened back up, and he’s finally relaxed. But Jared keeps fucking moving and it’s kind of pissing him off. He doesn’t want to talk anymore either, it’s too much work.  
Jared freezes up, keeping his hand still on his friend’s leg. 

Jared would never deny that he liked Evan. He wasn’t sure it was love, but it’s definitely close to it. He may like this boy, but he’d rather die than tell him. It’s simple, Evan loves Zoe and Zoe loves him back. It would be wrong and frankly such a douchey thing to do if he made a move on him.  
Yes, he likes him. But as much as Jared acts like one, he’s not an asshole.  
“St-st-stop fidgeting, p-please.” Evan mutters quietly and takes Jared’s hand to ground him.  
‘EVAN YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOT THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF MAKING IT BETTER!!!’ Jared’s mind screams and Evan hooks his chin over Jared’s shoulder, watching the computer screen intently. 

His skin looked slightly less red, and Jared was momentarily calmed. At least Evan was okay, he didn’t deserve to be as stressed as he is.

“Do y-you want to wat-watch somethin’ else?” Evan asks softly and Jared shakes his head quickly, allowing himself to snuggle a little closer to Evan.  
“Thank you for coming over,” Evan says with a suddenly steady voice and his stutter is no where to be seen.  
“No problem.” Jared replies as casually as possible.  
They’re about halfway into the movie and Jared realizes Evan thought ‘Netflix and Chill’ meant watch a movie and hang out. He tries to quiet his laughter, but it’s too late he’s already cackling and Evan tugs at the hem of his shirt.  
“Wh-what? Noth-nothing funny hap-happened ass-asshole, don’t make f-fun of Duchess,” Evan mutters angrily and Jared wipes the corners of his eyes.  
“Evan, what does Netflix and Chill mean?”  
Evan hums and stares at Jared like he’s gone insane.

“A sleepover.” Evan replies softly and Jared cracks up again. Realization dawns on his face, and his cheeks go scarlet.  
“Th-That’s not wha-what it means is it.” Evan says in horror and Jared shakes his head, still trying to quiet himself.  
“Wh-what is it?” Evan asks and Jared snickers quietly.  
“It means watching a movie and fucking, Ev.” Jared laughs and Evan pulls the blanket over his face. Jared looks down and the red spot on his leg brightens a lot.  
“Oh my god Ev it’s okay,”  
Evan lets out a short whine,  
“I-I-I d-do-don’t wa-wan-want t-to-“  
Jared pulls the blanket down and Evan has small tears brimming his eyes. He’s shaking way too much, and he’s picking at his fingers, a habit he picked up in 5th grade.  
Jared pulls the boy into a hug and starts to gently rock him, rubbing his back slowly up and down.  
“Follow my hand. Breathe in when I go up and breathe out when I go down.” Jared instructs quietly and he nods, trying not to cry on Jared again. Evan’s been in this position more times than he could count, but he’s only had a few with Jared present.  
Evan breathes in shakily and then breathes out way too fast. He hiccups softly and Jared pats his back.  
“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m not mad.” Jared murmurs and goes back down to the dip in Evan’s back.  
“It’s okay, just try again.”  
His hand moves up and Evan pulls in another breath, holding it for a few seconds, before releasing too early again. Jared’s fingers hadn’t even twitched and Evan was disappointing him, and Jared was going to leave him and he’d be all alone and his mom wouldn’t get back in time and she’d find him on the floor and kick him out of the house-  
Jared shushes him again, rocking him side to side like a fussy baby.  
“It’s okay Ev I’m not mad, I’m not disappointed,” 

He continues to gently reassure him until Evan manages to hold for long enough.  
“You’re doing great.” Jared says softly and pats his back again.  
Soon he’s calm enough to breathe on his own but Jared won’t let go.  
Evan’s grateful.  
“I-I’m s-s-s-sorry.” Evan whimpers and Jared twirls Evan’s hair, playing with the ends gently.  
“You don’t need to be sorry.” Jared replies and Evan curls in a little more.  
“S-sorry.” He says to himself and Jared grabs Evan’s blanket and wraps him in it.  
“I f-f-feel like someth-thin’s wrong with m-me.” Evan mumbles into Jared’s shoulder and the brunette squeezes him.  
“You don’t need to explain, it’s okay. Do you want to watch the rest or turn it off?” Jared asks and Evan smiles weakly.  
“O-off. S-sleep t-t-time.”  
Evan shuts his computer a bit too hard and buries his face in Jared’s shoulder. His brain is buzzing, his eyes hurt, and his entire body feels heavy and numb.  
Jared takes out his blanket and pillow and piles them up, pulling Evan backwards onto his chest.

Evan follows and Jared pulls up the blankets, holding the blonde and protecting him. Once Evan’s dead asleep, Jared squeezes him again and buries his face in his neck. Jared would never make a move, but a little pretending never hurt anybody.


	2. Shut up Beck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Awkward Gay Silence_  
>  Heidi tries, Evan makes a piece of toast like a little shit  
> (Sorry it’s a little short)

Jared wakes up with Evan’s fluffy hair basically in his mouth and against his nose, the blankets are twisted together between their legs, and Evan is curled up like a Great Dane that thinks it’s a chihuahua. Jared leans his head away so his hair gets out of his face and blinks up at the ceiling.  
It was Friday yesterday, Evan asked him to come over, Jared made a sex joke (and yeah he should probably stop doing that), Evan freaked out, and then they started cuddling.

Fuuuuucccckkkk Jared cuddled Evan. He looks down at the sleeping boy in his arms, Scratch that, Jared _is cuddling_ Evan. Evan stirs slightly and Jared pets down the spiky hair on the back of Evan’s head.  
The blonde purrs and sniffles a little in his sleep. Jared’s limbs are still weak as fuck and his brain is still not fully functioning, so logically, the first thing Jared does is make a noise back, BUT WAIT THERES MORE, And then he buries his face in Evan’s hair.  
Evan mumbles and snuggles deeper into Jared’s arms, making little sniffles beneath his breath.  
The sun is barely up when Heidi walks in and notices the two lumps on the couch, jumping slightly.

“Evan why aren’t you in bed?” She asks and Evan is still dead asleep, snoring against Jared’s neck.  
“H-Hey Heidi,” Jared murmurs and she comes over, leaning on the back of the couch.  
“You spent the night?” She asks and Jared nods meekly. She rolls her eyes and pulls the blanket up over Evan more, and then she ruffles Jared’s already messy hair. “Honey you know you’re always welcome but I’d like a text from time to time. Pancakes?”  
Jared nods, “I would’ve but Evan invited me over um... pretty late. And yes please.”  
Evan raises his head and their noses touch awkwardly.  
“Oh, hey Jared.” He mutters and yawns. Jared slides down a little bit so Evan’s not breathing in his face and Heidi looks back over from the kitchen.  
“Is Evan awake?” She asks and Jared shrugs. Does half asleep count? Heidi laughs to herself, “Well he will be.”

A blender turns on and Evan immediately sits up in alarm, sliding out of Jared’s lap and onto the floor with a yelp.  
Jared gets up and stretches, listening to Heidi’s laughter. Jared holds out a hand and Evan takes it, pulling himself up quickly.  
His heart is racing and Jared hugs him, tugging the boy into the kitchen.  
Evan follows obediently, still shaking a little bit, and then his eyes fall on his mom in front of the blender.  
“Why?” He whines and Heidi gives him a kiss on the forehead.  
“It’s nine o’clock Evan.” She says with a mischievous smile and then she looks down at Jared’s arm around her son’s waist.  
Jared awkwardly curls away and takes a seat at the table.  
(I mean it’s basically his second home at this point)

Heidi sets the food on the table and turns to clean up. She catches Evan sliding bread into the toaster.  
“Evan.” She scolds lightly and Evan smiles bashfully.  
Jared’s phone buzzes and he checks it lazily.

**Beck**  
**Are you coming?? - 9:05**

Jared shoots up out of his chair and runs to grab his bag.  
“Jared?” Heidi calls and Jared comes back into the kitchen to get his phone and give Heidi a kiss on the cheek.  
“Gotta motor if I’m gonna make it to the library in time Mrs. Hansen!” Jared exclaims and Heidi rolls her eyes watching the boy sprint out.

He doesn’t make it in time. In fact he’s very late. Jared rolls into the library to work with Alana at 9:20 and Alana eyes his sleepover pack.  
“What’s up?” He asks nonchalantly and Alana raises a brow sarcastically.  
“Where have you been? Were you at Evan’s or something?” Alana says with a grin as Jared sits down.  
“Uh...” Jared murmurs and Alana looks up with a poorly restrained laugh.  
“Oh my god. That was a joke... I was right?!?”  
Jared groans and lays his head on the table, hearing Alana unpack around him.  
“Why are you freaking out so much? It’s not like you’re crushing on him. Did you bring your book?”  
“Yeah uh, not crushing on him, definitely. And No.”  
Alana starts to cackle and Jared’s face turns red.  
“Shut up Beck!”  
“Holy shit I can’t believe it, you’re crushing on Evan Hansen-“  
Jared covers her mouth as she starts to ramble and he glares at her.  
“Don’t tell the whole world stupid.”

Jared and Alana finish the project earlier than they expected and Alana makes a jab about Jared’s crush every few minutes.  
“Whatever. At least I’m not a lesbian for Zoe Murphy.” Jared says and Alana nods casually.  
“Yeah. But who isn’t gay for Zoe Murphy?”  
“I see your point.” Jared mutters and Alana closes her textbook, packing up and getting up.  
“Well, see you on Monday.” Alana says with a smile and Jared rolls his eyes at her enthusiasm.  
“Yeah Yeah, see you.”


	3. Where can I find some cheap coverup?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan chapter! It’s the Monday back to school and he’s already had a short attack, Zoe helps him out and Evan’s heart is fast enough to power a sports car.   
> (Also Jared hides back behind his mask) ((but Evan doesn't know that)

The weekend passes by uneventfully and then Evan is in class, feeling the stares on the back of his head. Evan averts his eyes from people who try to mouth what’s wrong with him and feels his face burn. His concealer ran out.  
Evan’s neck starts to turn red too and he ducks his head a little bit in shame.  
At least no one can see the red splotches on his legs... for now. Evan drops his head to the desk with a soft whine and Miss O turns around and immediately starts yelling at him for falling asleep. Evan tries to explain he didn’t, but that just makes his condition worse and people are laughing,  
“He’s gonna combust,” Someone whispers and another string of giggles surrounds him. Miss O is still yelling and Evan can’t fucking _breathe._  
“Ma’am?” Zoe asks as she gets out of her seat and Miss O turns to her mid yell.  
“What?” She asks too harshly and the sound is grating against his ears,  
Zoe pushes in her chair and crosses the room to Evan, helping him up and collecting his books.  
“He’s having an attack, and I’m taking him to the nurse.”  
Miss O takes out a referral and hands it to Zoe, who drops it in the trash on the way out.  
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to freak out it was so loud, and now she’ll yell at you and you’ll get detention and It’ll be my fault-“  
“Evan hey. Hey hey no wait it’s fine Ev, you’re fine.” Zoe interrupts and her cold hand cups his way too hot sweaty cheek.  
Evan fights off the instinct to lean into the touch and tries to control his breathing.

It’s coming too fast and Zoe sits him down on a bench.  
“Can you breathe with me?” She asks and Evan screws his eyes shut and tries so hard to calm down, _he’s probably freaking her out and he looks crazy and Zoe will hate him and leave him here on the bench_  
“Yikes.” Zoe says softly and takes Evan’s hand, gently placing it in the center of her chest.   
Evan straightens his back and flushes, trying not to move his hand.  
Zoe takes a deep breath and Evan feels her chest move up.  
He tries to copy her but he’s late, then he’s too early, and _fuck he can’t hold it in for as long as she can and his hand is probably way too sweaty shit it’s probably soaking through her shirt._

“You’re doing good.” Zoe assures and eventually, he calms down a little bit to not be noticeably panicking anymore. “See?” She says with a sweet smile and Evan’s mouth goes dry. She’s so fucking.... pretty. Fuck.   
And his hand is still on her chest. He swipes it back and Zoe chuckles, standing up and reaching out a hand. “Still need to go to the nurse?” She asks and Evan nods.  
“Yes please.” He says softly and Zoe doesn’t let go of his hand as they walk, leading him all the way there and parting with a soft smile.  
“By the way, I think your spots are cute.” Zoe chuckles and boops Evan’s red nose.  
Evan’s heart melts and it feels like someone stuffed some warm cotton candy in it’s place.

Evan walks into the office and asks to call his mom, getting a half day off.  
After all, no one would call him out for looking considerably better than he claims to be.  
He spends all day on the couch until his front door slams open and shut.  
“EVAN!” Jared squawks and sprints inside pointing accusingly at the blonde.  
“YOU SKIPPED HALF THE DAY!” He proclaims loudly and Evan flushes, fiddling with the comforter across his lap.  
“sorry.” Evan mutters quietly and Jared drops down onto the couch, making Evan’s cushion rise up a little bit.  
“I thought we agreed you’d take me with you nerd.” Jared huffs mock angrily and Evan can’t even keep track of himself.  
“Well I just I had a panic attack during umm, du-during class and Zoe Murphy um she, she helped me to the nurses office and I called my mom.” Evan’s words run together and Jared stares expectantly.  
“Key words Ev.” He says after Evan’s finished and the blonde takes a deep breath.  
“Panic, class, Zoe, Nurse, Mom.” Evan mutters quietly and Jared pieces the information together in his head slowly.  
“Zoe fits in how?” Jared asks and Evan bites his lip, scraping at the dry skin. His face probably resembles a tomato at this point.  
“Z-Zoe helped me. She took me to the nurse.” Evan tries to keep his voice level but it cracks twice on ‘helped’ and ‘nurse.’  
Jared nods nonchalantly, like he never really cared to begin with and takes his DS out of his bag.  
“Wanna play?” He asks, again, like he doesn’t mind if Evan participates or not. Evan sighs.  
He thought after Friday Jared would be a little nicer, but it seems like he’s reverted back to his normal self.


	4. Strawberry boy,,,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey bullying exists y’all I had rocks thrown at me as a kid so this is from experience,,, I’ve never gotten a swirly, but I had to pick up my friend after one and it wasn’t pretty.  
> Anyway, have some,  
> • Protective and Possesive Jared  
> • Strawberry Evan  
> • Twig Boy scaring some jocks  
> • Toilet water
> 
> Oh btw, Ev is asexual, but he’s also a hormonal teenage boy, he’s got a very active libido and has a schedule for masturbating.  
> Leaving this here :) - Ev

Evan and Jared play for a couple hours before Jared’s face brightens.  
“Oh shit I forgot!” He pauses the game and grabs his backpack, sifting through the second biggest pocket.  
Evan waits patiently for his friend and takes the time to analyze his next move.  
A glass bottle drops onto his balls and Evan hisses in shocked pain.  
“Here, cover up your shame.” Jared says and Evan grabs it out of his lap, staring at the concealer in his hands.  
“And what do we say?” Jared asks, scarily sounding like Heidi.  
“T-Thank you Jared.” Evan whispers and runs his thumb over the label. It’s the perfect shade too.  
Jared flushes and adjusts his glasses awkwardly.  
“You’re welcome.” Jared coughs and picks his controller up.  
“Are we gonna keep playing or what?”

School doesn’t change however. No one besides his mom and Jared has seen his... condition. Everyone would think he’s a freak, and he knew that from a young age.

-

_”Heidi please, he needs to put some makeup on his face.” Dad begs and Evan rolls the toy truck along the carpet._  
_“He looks fine without it!” Mom protests and Evan starts humming softly._  
_“People are going to think something’s wrong with him!”_  
_“Well there isn’t so why does it matter?!”_  
_“It matters because he won’t make any goddamn friends! Why are you sheltering-“_  
_By then, Evan had learned to tune it out._

-

He’s still getting harassed. Half the student body is calling him mute, and the other half is calling him ‘cute’ little nicknames like ‘strawberry’ and ‘blushy boy.’  
Evan suffers through them all with a soft repressed pout.  
The worst is the things they say.  
“Did Strawberry boy cover up his spots?”  
“Aw you must be a virgin if you blush that much. Thinking about your crushes little boy?”  
Every comment is used to make him seem ‘less masculine.’ Which, normally wouldn’t bother him, but Evan’s been feeling so invisible and this is like kicking a dead horse.

Evan’s shutting his locker when he hears some shouting coming from the bathroom. He leans up against the door.  
“If you touch a single hair on Evan’s head, I will break both your legs and make you eat them.” Jared’s voice is low and terrifying.  
“Try me freak.”  
A toilet flushes and Evan stares blankly at the door.  
He hears a choking sound and some laughter.

Evan’s feet are rooted to the ground.

A light tap almost snaps him out of it. Almost, Not quite.  
“What um. What’s wrong with you? Like... why are you staring at the door.” Connor Fucking Murphy asks and Evan can’t bring himself to respond or react.  
Another flush and Evan flinches. More laughs. A slapping sound.  
Connor furrows his brows and steps into the bathroom.  
“What is this fucking middle school?!” Connor growls and suddenly the laughter and choking ceases. “Get the fuck away from him before I snap your goddamn necks!” Connor’s voice rings through the hallway.  
Frantic footsteps echo and Evan moves to the side as three guys tumble out of the bathroom with a cold sweat running down their backs.

Silence.

“It’s safe.” Connor mutters softly and Evan steps into the room.  
Jared is choking up water on the floor, wet hair and shoulders and he looks up with a red face.  
“What the fuck Evan?” Jared asks angrily and Evan feels his eyes well up with tears.  
“I’m sorry.” Evan choked out and Jared starts to raise his voice.  
“You were standing outside the whole!-“  
“Shut the fuck up he was scared.” Connor thwacks the back of Jared’s head and takes his glasses and wipes them off on his jacket.  
“Why the fuck are you helping me dick wad?” Jared growls and Connor pinpoints him with a sharp glare.  
“Do I need to have a reason?” He has one. Evan can see it written plain as day across his face. Connor Murphy was empathizing with Jared Kleinman.

Is that why he built up his walls?

Connor gets up after handing Jared his glasses and Evan immediately pulls Jared into a tight hug. The door slams behind the lanky boy and they’re left in silence.  
“Evan, I have toilet water all over me.” Jared protests and Evan starts to sob in little bursts.  
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I was scared they were g-gonna hurt me o-o-or hurt you more and I’m sorry for not stepping in,”  
Jared hugs him back and squeezes Evan’s hips and lower back tightly.  
“Shush.” Jared mutters and Evan closes his mouth, his bottom lip is quivering, and he leans his cheek on Jared’s shoulder.  
Evan shuffled closer into Jared’s lap and wraps his legs around Jared’s hips.  
“I’m sorry,” Evan whispers and Jared shrugs and rests his chin on Evan’s shoulder.

Evan flushes and is suddenly hyper aware of _Jared’s dick against his._  
Evan shuffles back a little further, and hides his face in the crook of Jared’s neck.

Jared pulls away after a few minutes and stands running a hand through his hair.  
“...Y’mind coming over to my house?” Jared asks quietly and sets his glasses back on his face.  
“Sure.” Evan mutters.  
You want me to come over?  
Jared grabs his backpack off the floor pulling the chewed gum off the fabric with a disgusted look on his face.  
“Did they uh... put gum on your bag?” Evan asks and Jared scowls, heaving for breath.  
“What does it look like?” He bites out and Evan shuts up, dropping his eyes to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s so short! You look very good today! Did you get a haircut? It looks nice <3


	5. Unedited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rlly bad like for real but I hit a creative road block so here’s this shit,,, also I’m prolly done with this one because I have no more ideas so, sorry!

Jared wipes his bag off and grabs Evan by the wrist, leading him out to his car. Evan follows obediently and Jared squeezes his wrist gently.  
Evan squeezes back carefully and after a couple minutes of being dragged through the halls, Jared releases him.

They get in the car, and there’s a tense silence. By then, Jared has dried and he takes a brush from the glove compartment to brush his hair.

Evan leaves it alone and Jared drags him into his house and onto the couch, basically sitting in Evan’s lap. He deflates and wraps his arms around Evan’s waist.  
Evan squeaks and Jared flushes at the noise. _I just want to kiss him... is that a bad thing? He’s so cute and fucking hot,,,, and I want to make out until our lips get sore...._  
Jared looks up at Evan and smiles weakly.  
“W-what’s uh, up, dude?” Evan asks and Jared sighs.  
_I wanna give you a big smooch._

Jared’s never been that good at stopping himself.  
He leans up and presses his mouth to Evan’s, sighing softly against him. Evan was going to hit him and sue him...  
Evan’s hands wrap around him and his fingers weave into Jared’s hair.  
Jared opens his eyes and _Evan is crying._  
“I’m sorry,” Jared pulls away immediately and unravels himself from the other boy.  
“I’m sorry Ev I didn’t mean to-“  
Evan lets out an actual sob and Jared runs upstairs too caught up in his own guilt to hear what Evan is saying.

I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you Evan you’re my best friend please don’t leave me I can’t function without you 

There’s knocking on the door and a shadow blocking the light.  
“J-Jared, pl-please, pl-ple-please c-c-c-c”  
Evan stops. “C-c-c-come out, please,” He whines quietly and gently turns the door.  
I didn’t mean to hurt you  
“Y-y-you d-did, didn’t hurt me p-please c-c-come out,”  
Jared unlocks the door and Evan drops beside him.  
“Was it a joke?” He asks quietly and Jared shakes his head. “Did you just want co-comfort?”  
Jared shakes his head harder and leans into Evan’s embrace, clutching onto his sweater.

I’m sorry if I tell you you’ll hate me and you’ll leave me I don’t want you to leave

“I-I’m not go-go-gonna l-leave. I mean, uhm, unless you want me to later I can totally give you your space I’m really sorry,”  
Jared squeezes Evan’s arms and kisses his cheek. Evan stops and stares.  
“I’m sorry, I can’t help it I just want you so bad,”  
Evan flushes at the words and cups Jared’s cheek.  
“Want me how?”  
Jared grinds his teeth and hides his face in Evan’s shoulder.  
He didn’t think he’d cry while confessing to Evan.  
He was bawling like a baby.

“I’m sorry, I love you, I love you so much, It’s been so long since, fuck since we talked for real and I missed you, I miss you all the time,”  
Evan takes Jared’s other cheek. His entire face has gone scarlet.  
“You like me?”  
Jared sobs and hugs Evan into his chest.  
“Fuck Evan I _love_ you.”  
Evan pulls Jared back to face him,

Jared readies himself for the slap,

Evan’s kissing him again, tears flowing freely now.  
“I l-like you too,” Evan whimpers and Jared can’t handle the rush of emotions.  
“Fuck,” He murmurs and they sit on the floor like that, tangled up and kissing for two hours until Jared’s parents get home.  
Evan has dinner with them, Jared convinced him to sleep over, and they head up to the room.

Jared pins Evan to the bed and watches the other boy tense up.  
He presses another kiss to Evan’s lips and cheeks.  
“I’m so fucking lucky,” Jared says quietly.

A day ago, if you told Jared he’d have Evan in his bed, he’d laugh and cry.

“I love you so much Ev...” He expected the taller boy to calm down but he gets even more freaked out.  
“What’s wrong?” His heart drops to his stomach. Evan was probably just trying to comfort him...

“I don’t want to have sex!” Evan squeaks and Jared stares on in confusion.  
“What?”  
“I l-like you a lot b-b-but I don’t want to, I can’t have sex o-or anything, It makes me feel gross and wrong and I can’t,” Evan rambles and Jared carefully removes his hands from Evan’s shoulders.  
“I wasn’t going to make you...”  
Evan blinks rapidly and wraps his arms around Jared and buries his face in his chest.  
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” Evan sobs and Jared runs a hand through his hair.  
“I know how you feel about that, am I really that much of an asshole?”  
Evan’s eyes go comically wide.

“No No No! I just, you were pinning me, and, and your w-waist is against me and I panicked because we’re dating now-“  
Evan grabs Jared’s hand.  
“Are we dating? Do you want to-“

Jared scoffs and kisses Evan again, pressing him into the mattress.  
“Fuck yeah I wanna date you!” Jared exclaims and Evan covers Jared’s mouth with his hand, shushing him.  
“If it was legal, my last name would be Hansen right now.”  
Evan crinkles his nose, misunderstanding, and Jared can see the cogs turn in his head.  
“OH!” He shrieks and Jared chuckles, collapsing on top of his _boyfriend._

Fuck that felt good.

Jared mouthed at Evan’s neck lazily and felt himself drifting off.  
“Am I too heavy?” Jared asks quietly and Evan hums, obviously tired too.  
“Not really. Y-you’re real-really soft.” He purrs and Jared sucks a hickey into his pulse.  
Evan lets him do it with a hint of pride. It wasn’t so much that he enjoyed someone sucking on his neck, it’s just proof that Jared’s been there. Proof that Jared wants to be with him.  
Jared curls his fingers in Evan’s hair as he begins to drift off.


End file.
